I haven't updated lately because I have had a very bad case of the whys. You know - Why is this pregnancy going so great but Caleb came 13 weeks and 1 day early? Why did Caleb die? Why didn't I spend that Monday with him? Once the why's start, they never end.
This pregnancy is still going perfect. Monster is still comfy and breech. He has this trick that he loves: He'll kick me and give me a nice shooting pain in my cervix. I swear I can hear him laughing sometimes after he kicks me.
My emotions have been crazy. 3rd trimester is kicking my butt! (Yes, I know, I've only been in the 3rd trimester for about 5 minutes.) I'm back to being ok one minute, then mad, and then crying. Fun. Cary is trying so hard to say the right stuff and not upset me. He doesn't understand that it doesn't matter what he says or does I'm just going to be upset. He can say "you are the most wonderful perfect person ever!" and I'll start crying - or I'll get mad at him for talking instead of changing the TV channel. Then I'll be upset because my motherly instinct sucks and Caleb died. Those are the lovely emotions who have hijacked my body.
That's why I haven't been updating.
I'm going to go eat chocolate and watch TV - I hope there's something good on.