Tuesday, August 08, 2006

still pregnant

Went to the doctor today. There's no change! My cervix is still closed, cerclage is still there! Monster is still breech - they typically don't worry about that until 36ish weeks, but since I'm a freak they are thinking he will probably stay breech. All that means is that I will probably have a c-section. I got to say I don't really care how he comes out. I just want him to be healthy and come out screaming.

I go to the perinat next Tuesday. Then to the OB the Tuesday after that. Then back to the perinat the Tuesday after that. Then back to the OB... you see a pattern?

Most preggos probably don't even think twice about being 30/31 weeks. I wake up every morning scared I missed something again. I know I should be happy that I have made it this far, but I just get more afraid that I will miss something again. Last night, I was driving home from dinner with Cary and started to think about how happy I am that Jeana, Michelle, and Alyson all got to meet Caleb on my birthday. Jeana got the best Caleb show. She got to see him completely naked for his bath. He was so cute and so chubby. The nurse sat him in the pink hospital tub thing and he took up the whole tub. He was just looking at me with his curious eyes. I miss him so much. I don't want any other baby to go through what he had to go through. I wonder if I will ever stop being mad at my body and just be able to enjoy a pregnancy?

Sorry that was a sad paragraph...
On to happy things...

I had a funny post to leave the other day (with pictures of my giant belly!), but I have been having...umm...computer issues (like I can't reach the back of the computer to plug in the digital camera and I've been falling asleep after dinner every night). I will try to have Cary plug in the camera tonight.

The OB kept my due date at October 10 (Caleb's birthday). So, by them I am 31 weeks today. I mentioned it to them a few visits ago and they said they don't tyipcal change it. I mentioned to the dr today and she said she would have changed it to Oct. 16 - based on monster's measurements. She said changing the date at this point was up to me. Her exact comment was "do you want to stay pregnant for an extra week?" Let me think about that...NO! So, if monster stays breech and I don't go into PTL, they will schedule a C-section for about 8 weeks from now.

8 weeks!! That's soon! I need to clean the house and wash monster's clothes and measure the windows so my sis and mom can make curtians and decide how I want them to make monster's bedding and finish painting monster's bathroom and get Caleb's stuff out of monster's crib...

7 comments:

Karen said...

I had 2 m/cs - I sort of know. I'm preggers now and it's hard to be excited. Congrats to you.

I'm visiting from CHBM.

Lucy Henry said...

But do you have your suitcase packed?

Hedda said...

Sounds like you need my help again. When do you want me to come?

Those of us who have had PTL, babies in the NICU and/or have lost a child never have innocent pregnancies again. I rented a doppler and used it often. If Connor didn't move enough for me, I would check him. Crazy to most people, but it gave me piece of mind.

Alyson Barbree said...

I was kind of thinking that maybe monster would be born on my birthday, but when I realized that Sept 29th would still be too soon, I quit hoping for that. :-) A nice October birthday...that will be perfect. He'll still be a Libra!!!

-Alyson

Mary Ann said...

Congrats on being in the "big and pregnant" stage. I know it is hard to enjoy it, but enjoy what you can...like when he kicks the cats or Cary. Or when you are eating chocolate guilt free. Or when you get to buy new jeans because you are too big for your others...oh, wait, that may not be something to enjoy! Anyway, enjoy what you can and try not to beat yourself up because you aren't totally enjoying this preg. If it makes you feel any better, not everyone enjoys their pregnancies anyway! It is funny, but when you say you are due in October, it sounds far off, but when you say 8 weeks, it sound really soon! Especially since we still need to make those curtains! If you'd just measure one window....Maybe I should just make them to fit my windows....Ha, ha. Let me know when you want/need the straightening help at home. Love you. Praying for you. Glad for you!

The Mom said...

Wow, I can't believe you only have 8 weeks to go! You've come such a long way. I think the Monster's birthday being the same as Caleb's is sweet. Bittersweet maybe, but at least he'll be able to share that with his big brother. Hang in there, the next few weeks will fly by. Oh and the c-section? It's really not so bad. I'll be 3 for 3 once this baby comes. Just ask for pain meds every 3 hours (or as often as they'll give them to you) and you'll do alright. Can't wait to see photos of the big ol' belly!

Jeana Diddie said...

I do feel so lucky to have been able to meet Caleb and witness bath time. I told Elizabeth at the time that he looked like Buddha. He was so cute with a big round belly and round cheeks.
I know that I was a little nervous the whole time that I was pregnant hoping that everything would be OK. I can only imagine how you feel.